misguidedghost;

I travel to run away from my problems.

south.africa; Part One

Myself and two other volunteers from Australia were placed at a school for cerebral palsy children in Cape Town, South Africa. There were 20 volunteers who came over to SA from Australia, New Zealand, and the UK. We stayed in the suburb Athlone, which is a predominantly black and coloured neighbourhood. Cars would slow down to look at myself and the other girls as we were the only white people in the neighbourhood. When we spoke to the White Afrikaans, they would say they wouldn’t be caught dead in that area. They wouldn’t ever walk or drive through it. Made us feel great at the beginning… Gun shots were common each night. A mosque blaired prayers at all hours of the morning. When we first arrived at the school, we weren’t shown where everything was, or told a schedule; just taken to our room and basically dumped there. Such a warm welcome for three teenagers who just finished grade 12 and had left their family for the first time.

Some facts about South Africa:

Every 35 seconds, someone is raped.

1 in 3 people are raped.

2 out of 5 people have HIV or AIDS.

Children start having sex from the age of 7.

Contraception is not widely used. They believe that if “God wishes them to get an STI, then it is his wish”. So instead, they just go to a clinic and get tested each month. (It takes 3 months for an STI to be diagnosed)

You can rape someone and make bail for $130 Aus.

You can murder someone and make bail for $300.

All of the 70 kids I worked with in Cape Town had either one or none parents. Most were lost through alcohol related drunk driving.

You don’t need a license to drive. (Legally you do, but the cops don’t check and if you give them money, they’ll turn a blind eye to anything)

Everyone drink drives.

*All of these facts I learnt personally.

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The Star Thrower

In his book, ‘the star thrower’, Loren E Eiseley talks of the day when he was walking along a sandy beach where thousands of starfish had been washed up on the shore. He noticed a boy picking up the starfish, one by one and throwing them back into the ocean. Eiseley observed the boy for a few minutes and then asked what he was doing. The boy replied that he was returning the starfish to the sea - otherwise they would die. Eiseley then asked how saving a few, when so many were doomed, would make any difference whatsoever? The boy picked up a starfish and as he threw it back said, ‘It’s going to make a lot of difference to this one.’ Eiseley left the boy and went home to continue writing, only to find if could not type a single word. He returned to the beach and spent the rest of the day helping the boy throw starfish into the sea. That boy’s actions represent something special in each of us. We are all gifted with the ability to make a difference.

Look, at, me; I am changing. Every magazine tells her she’s not good enough. The pictures that she sees make her cry. She would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between of a beautiful disaster. Only got a hundred years to live. If she wants to rock, she rocks. If she wants to roll, she rolls. I can offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love. I can’t remember when the Earth turned slowly. Do you know what’s worth fighting for? I can run right into hell and back. Should I give up, or just keep chasing pavements? If I’m wrong, I am right. You can find him, sitting on your doorstep. Soaking up the sun he is a real lover, makin’ up the past and feeling up his girl like he’s never felt her figure before. I see the kids on the street, with not enough to eat, who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs. I’m starting with the man in the mirror.

I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see. Can you tell me how I got in this situation? After all, we’re only Human. If love is a bolt from the blue, then what is that bolt but a glorified screw? She had some trouble with herself. Remember those walls I built, well baby they’re tumbling down. I will be your guardian when all is crumbling; steady your hand. All things are going to happen naturally. Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of and others just read of. I don’t want the world to see me, because I don’t think that they’d understand. You took my hand and showed me how. Who knew. The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall. Bad news comes - don’t you worry even when it lands; Good news will work its way to all them plans. I see skies of blue, and clouds of white. I got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of may. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Look down, the world is crumbling. I lay my head back down, and pray. S.O.S. The closer my heart gets, the further my head is from you. You speak in rhythms, I dream in wishes. You’re in my arms and all the world is gone. So close to feeling alive. When you’re weary feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all. This is the way that we love, like it’s forever, but live the rest of our lives not together. A little bit of heaven, a little bit of hell. I feel as if I’m waisted; and I’ve waisted everyday. Where are we? What the hell is going on? Spin we around again. Say all I need is the air I breathe. They said love hurts, I wrote that book. You can’t write the same song over again. Could you whisper in my ear, the things you want to feel? Do you wake up on your own, and wonder where you are? I need a hand. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. It will all get better in time. Me, myself, and I. I don’t know if i can yell anymore louder? I can be so mean If I when I want to be, I can cut you into pieces. Never met a man, quite like you, making all my dreams come true. There’s a song thats inside of my soul, it’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again. I’m awake in the infinite cold. Would you save myself tonight? Leave me alone, I’m lonely. Every magazine tells her she’s not good enough. The pictures that she sees make her cry. Perfect only in her imperfection. I never knew that everything was falling through. Take a look at yourself and then make a change. I’ve been a victim of a selfish kinda love. It’s time that I realize there are some with no home; not a nickel to loan. Could it be really mean, pretending that they’re not alone? I think I’ll go to Boston. You don’t know me, you don’t even care. Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed; this world you must’ve crossed. I think I’ll start a new life. You can tell everybody, this is your song. You’re the voice. Imagine there’s no heaven. No hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people, living for today. You’re up and you’re down. Got a case of love bipolar. Dreaming out loud. Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back. Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl. What happened to the dreams of a girl president? She’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent. What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street? Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep? What do you feel when you look in the mirror? In truths that she learned or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned or the way that she died. It’s time now to sing out; Tho’ the story never ends. You can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming. You bleed just to know you’re alive.

Here comes the sun.
Con te partirè; Time to Say Goodbye.
And I think to myself, What a Wonderful World.

Second day back in Cairns;

Over the past six months I lived and worked in South Africa. Hopefully over the next few weeks I’ll recall my stories, explain each child’s story, to give you a better understanding of everyday life for these children.

I’m not here to boast, or portray myself as someone wiser and better than everyone else; I’m just stating what I experienced.

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